Now that I've had time, a large list of items...

I've never : Given a bum a dollar or two and then had him reward me at a crucial time with a ton of money, or by kicking a bunch of bullies' asses for me.
Had to hold a talent show to help out a friend in need.
I've never gotten upset with a friend over something they said while I was eavesdropping, but hung up before the end of the conversation. I"ve always waited to hear the entire conversation so I know without a doubt my friend is stabbing me in the back. Also, while attempting to bury their body, I've never had to pretend he's my drunk friend officer, and I'm taking him home.
I've never had to reminisce about past experiences to...wait...I've done that lots of times actually, never mind...
Never gone back in time to experience what would have happened if I'd done something differently, then learning it would suck, but luckily it was all a dream.
Never gone far back in time to historic times to learn first hand about how great the Constitution was, or how great Ben Franklin was before waking up and finding out it was all a dream.
Never ...to my knowledge, anyway, let sudden success or wealth change my relationship with my friends....I can't look down on them more than I already do anyway...
I've never rolled around in toxic waste and gotten super powers...though I did get some nasty chemical burns if that counts.
More when I think of it and can be bothered.

Thing #4: I've never been mistaken for a spy.

Not once has an attractive woman come up to me, mumbled something mysterious, then slipped me a piece of paper with a microdot on it. I've never had to call on hidden reserves of strength, stamina, and technical know-how to save my life, not to mention democracy as we know it.

I've never been kidnapped away to any foreign country, where I would have to proclaim my innocence and lack of knowledge to that country's leaders, who would simply laugh and say, "Ah, Mr. Panther, your sense of humor is truly refreshing, but the games are about to end."

Now that I come to think of it, I'm pretty happy this one hasn't happened to me.

Thing #3: I've never had a lost Macguffin come back.

I can think of a certain television episode (two, by the time I finished this post) where the Macguffin was being desperately searched for when it disappeared, for all intents and purposes, lost. After going through a ridiculous amount of peoples' possessions, most of them unaware of the fact, it makes its way back to the hero. Every damn time I've lost something, it's been for good.
Wait....maybe I'm not the hero...

Thing #2: I've never been beamed into space.

Television, movies, books, comics, computer games, all have taught us that if we are nerdy enough, and geeky enough, and just plain socially inept enough, we will get beamed into space to help aliens take on a genocidal, galactic threat, all the while teaching the aliens something helpful and noble that all Americans know instinctively.
I have been as maladjusted as possible through the years, and I'm starting to think it was all for nothing.

Thing #1: I've never met-cute.

You've heard of the "meet-cute." Happens all the time in romantic comedies. Two people meet, they instantly hate each other, or one falls into the other, breaking his/her leg, or she manages to drop a tampon on his lap in church or something. And then they work through the hate, the embarrassment, the sociocultural differences, and fall in love (usually being sure to protest wildly for 89 minutes so the movie will be long enough).

I've met a lot of women who didn't like me at first, but they mostly continued to not like me after getting to know me better. I'm embarrassed myself and hurt myself in wildly entertaining ways in a lot of social settings, and I've never gotten date one from that. I've spilled more than one type of food on women, and still nothing. If I didn't know better, I'd think women DON'T like the shy, clumsy type of guy who won't look them in the eye, and then will accidentally insult them out of sheer nervousness.

The meet-cute teaches us that it's never too late to make up for a good first impression, that persistence will win in the end. The court system, of course, tells us that persistence, taken to extremes, gets your name on restraining orders and your face on the news.